i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
