so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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