You really coming over, don't trick.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize