You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
