Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize