WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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