My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
