i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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