bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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