it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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