wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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