Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Randomize
