you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
