He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
