So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
