he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
