when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
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