Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
