I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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