He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
