I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Randomize
