I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
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Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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