and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Edward fifth and chaser hands
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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