SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
