if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
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what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize