So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
