at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
