Can i not drive my cunt home
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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