I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
