I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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