I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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