i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize