Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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