My sheets look like a crime scene.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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