when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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