I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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