so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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