that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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