Dual....:-)
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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