She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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