We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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