So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
