I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
