Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
