did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
