Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
