With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
