i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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