Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
