one might say we're banned from that church
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
