i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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