I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
