White coat. Heels.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
