No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Randomize
