I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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