I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize