see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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