come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
