i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
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I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
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Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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