Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize