hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
