dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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