I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
