They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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