New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
operation have a gay friend backfired
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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