Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
